


Geheimnisse

by AnaliseGrey



Series: Along the Way [4]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Caleb tells Molly about his backstory, Capture, Episode: c02e018 Whispers of War, Escape, Interrogation, M/M, Spoilers, Timestamp, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 15:47:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17266940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnaliseGrey/pseuds/AnaliseGrey
Summary: Caleb finally tells Molly about his past. Molly doesn't react how Caleb thinks he should.





	Geheimnisse

**Author's Note:**

> _Geheimnisse_ \- Secrets

Molly snarled in the back of his throat, struggling against the hands that held him. A crude gag kept him mostly silent and the hands on his arms and the sturdy rope at his wrists kept him from clawing them apart as he so desperately wished to.

They were dragging him down a stone corridor, the same one they’d pulled Caleb down earlier. He and Caleb had been trying to find evidence of wrongdoing for a client that’d hired the Mighty Nein, but there’d been a trap they hadn’t seen- an alarm- and he and Caleb were caught in the snare. Thankfully the others hadn’t been there, and Molly had no doubts that they would come for them eventually; he just hoped they didn't have to wait forever, because the noises from down the hall weren’t promising.

Molly’d been going insane the last hour, hearing shouts and the occasional scream, and he had no idea what he was going to find as they dragged him into the room at the end of the hall.

When the door opened to let them in, Molly felt his blood surge to near-boiling fury. Caleb was in the center of the room, strapped shirtless into a heavy wooden chair that was bolted to the floor. He was slumped forward, held up by the straps across his chest and shoulders, hair a curtain across his face. There was deep bruising along his ribs, his torso littered with shallow cuts still bleeding sluggishly, and some deeper, longer gashes, but those were thankfully fewer in number. The man Molly had earlier pegged as the captain of the estate’s private guard was standing just to the side of the chair, casually wiping a small knife on a cloth.

“You’ve been very stubborn so far, which to an extent is commendable, but my patience is wearing thin. You will tell me why you and your friend were sneaking around the estate.”

“He is not my friend. I hired him to guide me, nothing more. I am not from around here, I needed help.” Caleb’s voice was flat, weary, and Molly had the feeling these were words Caleb had said more than once.

The man set the knife down on a table and walked back to the chair, tangling his fingers in Caleb’s hair and forcing Caleb’s head up. Caleb’s lip was split, one of his eyes almost swollen shut, but he didn’t look scared, much to Molly’s surprise, just tired.

“See, I don’t believe you. I think you two were sneaking in looking for something, and I intend to find out what.” The man gestured toward Molly. “Bring him here.”

A spike of fear drove through Molly, and he dug his feet in to keep from being pulled forward, but to no avail; he was dragged up in front of the captain despite how he struggled against it. The man looked down at him, considering, then back over at Caleb. Caleb’s face was stony, neutral, but Molly knew him well enough by now to see the smallest bit of worry slip through.

“If he’s only a guide, then it doesn’t matter what I do to him, does it? It wouldn’t bother you.”

“Aside from you hurting an innocent bystander, no, I guess it wouldn’t.”

Molly was amazed and kind of disturbed at how well Caleb kept his voice even, disinterested, but was quickly distracted from that when the captain reached for him. He twisted, but the other guards held him fast and the captain grabbed him by the collar, yanking him closer. As the other guards let go he stumbled forward, and only the captain’s grip on him kept him from falling. Molly froze when he felt a hand grab his tail halfway down, and he hardly dared to breathe.

“Are you sure there isn’t something you’d like to tell me?” The grip on Molly’s tail tightened, and he couldn’t hold back a grimace. He caught the look on Caleb’s face and was horrified to see the other man’s expression start to crack. No, he couldn’t let Caleb do this; his tail would heal if something happened to it, Jester would make sure of that. They just had to survive this first, and if Caleb did something stupid-

The hold on his tail tightened abruptly, the hand on it twisting, and Molly’s knees gave as agony shot up the appendage. It took him a second to blink the tears of pain from his eyes, to realize he was on the floor, the other man’s grip on his coat collar keeping him from having gone face-first into the stone. His tail throbbed, but he didn’t think it was broken; that might not be the case for long, though.

Molly twitched as the grip on his tail moved, sliding down to the tip, and he tried to brace himself as the captain grasped the delicate spade.

“You sure you don’t-”

“I’m a deserter.”

Both Molly and the captain looked up in surprise at Caleb, who was staring back, wild-eyed. The captain let Molly’s tail drop to the floor with a soft thud, and stepped around him.

“Say that again?”

Caleb swallowed, his voice wavering only slightly. “I’m a deserter. Of the Imperial forces. I was a warmage. I-” Caleb sagged against the straps holding him to the chair. “I didn’t want to fight anymore, so I ran.”

To say Molly was stunned didn’t begin to cover it. He had no idea if what Caleb was saying was true, or just a ruse to draw the captain’s attention, but either way it’d worked. The man walked back over to where Caleb sat. He looked Caleb up and down once, smirking. “Well, that would explain it, not so much stubbornness as training, huh? Well, I imagine the Empire will pay a handsome sum to get you back. Deserters aren’t fondly thought of in the best of times, but during wartime?” The man clucked his tongue and shook his head. “They’re going to have so much fun taking you apart, making an example of you.”

Caleb blanched, and for some reason, that was what jolted Molly out of his stupor. Gods, if they actually turned Caleb over to the Crownsguard, not only would the Mighty Nein never see Caleb again, but gods only knew what they’d do to him. Caleb would be _lucky_ if all they did was kill him.

Molly glanced to the table where the captain had set down the knife earlier and gauged how quickly he thought he could move. Right now he had no one on him; the guards who’d brought him in had withdrawn back toward the door, and while they were strong, he didn’t think they were especially quick. The captain had all his attention focused on Caleb; Molly thought that maybe, just maybe, they might have a chance if he could move quick enough. He pushed experimentally at the gag with his tongue, and felt give. Okay- okay this could work.

He worked the gag out of his mouth, stretching his jaw for a second before flying into action. He rolled to the side and slipped his bound wrists down over his ass and pulled his legs through, letting his tail flip through as he was already moving. There was a shout behind him, and he tossed a snarl over his shoulder at one of the advancing guards, stunning them. He made it to the table and grabbed the first knife he saw, dragged it over his neck in a practiced motion, and watched as the blade lit up with a radiant glow.

The guard he hadn’t stunned almost got him, but at the last second Molly caught him just right with the knife and the man went down with a wet gurgle, grasping weakly at his throat as he bled out. The second guard was more cautious, but it didn't save him, and he fell not long after the first. When Molly turned to face the captain it was to find the man already advancing on him, wielding a longer blade Molly hadn’t initially seen. He got his arms up to block the first strike, but with his hands bound it was clumsy, and the knife skittered off the ropes, slicing through part of his forearm. He hissed in Infernal, concentrated, and the captain yelled in anger as his eyes went black and started to bleed.

Molly took the opportunity to duck the captain’s next wild swing, and moved under his guard, catching the larger man in the ribs. The captain’s eyes were just starting to clear when Molly caught him again, driving the blade through his chest and into the man’s heart. For a split second nothing moved, and then the man slid ground, dead.

Hardly believing their luck, Molly turned to see Caleb staring at him in amazement.

“I can’t _believe_ you just-”

“Not now, love, we have to get out of here. You can laud me to your heart’s content later.”

Molly dropped the knife he was holding and hurried to Caleb’s side, struggling to get the straps unbuckled and snarling in frustration when the ropes at his wrists hindered him; he knew it was faster to get Caleb free first and run than to deal with his own bindings first, but that didn’t make it any less frustrating.

He finally got one of Caleb’s arms free, and set to work on the shoulder and chest straps around the back of the chair while Caleb freed his other arm. When the last strap fell away, Molly moved back around front, helping him to stand.

“Molly, is your tail alright?”

Molly turned an incredulous expression on Caleb as the other man fought to not list sideways. “Darling, my tail will be fine. You, however, look a stiff breeze from falling over. So I reiterate- we need to get out of here. We’ll worry about everything else later.”

Caleb frowned, picking his way around the body of the captain and grabbing his belongings from the same table the knives were on. “Even the thing I said? About-”

“Later means later. Let’s go.”

They were incredibly lucky, only running into a couple more guards on their way out, who Caleb was able to dispatch in short order. They made it out to the tree line and kept running. They’d agreed to meet up with the rest of the group back at camp, and it was probable nobody had even realized anything was wrong. All told they’d only gotten held up a few hours, and there had been no timeline on their part of the mission to start with.

Once they were a decent distance from the estate, Molly stumbled to a stop against a large tree. “Caleb wait, hold on.”

Caleb stopped and turned back, looking concerned. “What? Are you alright? You’re not injured are you?”

Molly shook his head. “No, nothing some liniment won’t fix up once we get back; I do worse to myself in a fight. You’re in rougher shape than I am.” He held his still-bound wrists up. “But I’d really like to get these ropes off, if we could. They’re starting to chafe.”

Caleb muttered a curse and walked back the few paces to Molly’s side. “I’m sorry, I completely forgot. Here, let me see.”

Molly held his arms out and Caleb rapped a knuckle against the ropes, and with a quiet word they slithered to the ground, untied. Molly rubbed at his wrists, wincing at how raw they felt. “Thank you, dear. Much appreciated.”

There was the smallest flicker of a smile as Caleb glanced up at him before his eyes skittered off to somewhere over Molly’s shoulder.

“I think we should be safe here for a little while, if- if you would like the explanation. I would prefer to get it over with before we reach the others if you do not mind.”

“I don’t know that an explanation is really necessary. You were looking for a way to distract him, and you did. It was very effective, though I wish you wouldn’t do things like that. My tail is much easier to fix than whatever they would have done to you if they’d had the chance to turn you in.”

Caleb shuddered. “ _Ja_ , I know.”

There was a heaviness, a weight to Caleb’s words, that made Molly think he was speaking from more than just general knowledge. Caleb ran a hand through his hair, tugging, and Molly reached up to catch his hand, drawing it back down.

“Whatever you need to tell me-” Molly kissed the back of Caleb’s knuckles. “It will be alright.”

Caleb shook his head, pulling his hand back and sliding down to sit with his back against the tree.

“I think you should reserve judgement on that until I have finished telling you. Nott and Beauregard already know, though only because Beauregard would not get me into the library in Zadash unless I told her why I was afraid of fire, and I could not fathom telling her and not also telling Nott.”

Molly felt a curl of anger in his gut that Beauregard would do something so manipulative, but that had been what felt like ages ago. She’d changed since then, they all had, and he wasn’t so sure the Beauregard of now would have done the same thing, but what was done was done.

“Alright then.” Molly sat down next to Caleb, resting his back against the tree as well, and facing forward. Some words came easier if you didn’t have to look at anyone while you said them.

“When I told that man I was a deserter, that was not the exact truth.” Caleb fiddled with the ends of his scarf, and Molly waited patiently.

“I am going to tell you the story of how I murdered my mother and father.”

 

~~~

 

Caleb’s words came to a stop, and all Molly could do for a few minutes was sit and process. Caleb’s words had inspired a lot of emotions in him- anger, sorrow, grief- and a lot of things about Caleb suddenly made a great deal more sense.

Next to him, Caleb cleared his throat, and was still refusing to look at him. “So, I understand if maybe your feelings about things- about _me-_ have changed, but well, I thought you should know. Though I would appreciate it if you would not tell the others, please. I have grown fond of you all, and would like to keep traveling with you, though if you think-”

“Caleb.”

Caleb’s mouth snapped shut with a click, and Molly turned so that he was facing him. “If it’s alright with you, I’m going to hug you now.”

Caleb’s eyes flicked to him in confusion. “What?”

“You’ve just told me some _very_ distressing things, and I for one would like a hug, preferably from you, though if you’re not up to it, I can wait until we get back and I’ll wrangle one from one of the others instead.”

“I, uh- yes?”

Molly scooted over and carefully put his arms around Caleb, mindful of his injuries, and pulled him close, kissing the top of his head. “I imagine we’re going to talk more about this at some point, but I want to be exquisitely clear about this particular point right up front. The things that were done to you were awful.” Caleb started to say something and Molly cut him off. “I let you speak your piece, please let me speak mine.” Caleb quieted, and Molly continued. “As I said, the things done to you were awful. You feel you’re to blame, at least in part, and those feelings are valid. They may not be _accurate_ , but they’re valid.” Molly paused a moment, getting his thoughts together. “Some of what you did was pretty shitty, I’ll give you that, but I would also point out, for clarity’s sake, that _you were a child_. Children aren’t meant to be making life or death decisions. Children aren’t meant to be used as tools, as killers, as- as _whatever the_ _fuck_ Ikithon was turning you into.” Molly squeezed Caleb tighter when he flinched at his mentor’s name. “So I think, at the very least, we should try to direct our ire toward the person who actually deserves it, which is that asshole back in Zadash, and not the traumatized former child soldier who he royally fucked up.”

Caleb squirmed in his arms, pulling back just enough that he could look up at Molly. “Did you not hear what I was telling you? Yes, Ikithon is a horrible man, but everything I did, I _wanted_ to do. He didn’t force me. He didn’t hold a- a _spell_ to my head or a knife to my throat and say, ‘If you don’t, I will kill you.’. Everything I did, I did of my own free will, Mollymauk, don’t you understand? I am a terrible person, garbage. I don’t know why you all don’t _get_ it.”

Molly snarled, and felt a twinge of guilt when Caleb flinched back from him. “Just because he didn’t outright threaten you with death doesn’t mean there wasn’t coercion involved, though I’d remind you in a way he _did_ hold a spell to your head, didn’t he? You just didn't know it until after. Also, in case I wasn’t clear enough- **_you were a child_ ** . Someone you admired, someone you _trusted_ , asked you to do things. You had every expectation to believe he had your best interests at heart; adults are supposed to take care of children. The fact that he took those expectations, that he took that trust, and warped it so terribly isn’t a reflection on you, but on _him_.”

He could practically hear Caleb’s thoughts whirring like a spinning wheel, looking for a way to refute him.

“But I still _wanted_ to do it.” Caleb was starting to shake, and Molly couldn’t tell if it was stress or just his injuries catching up with him. “To borrow a phrase, he led me to water, but he did not force me to drink it.”

Molly sighed, and kissed Caleb’s forehead again before pulling back to run his hands over his face. “Look, how about we agree to disagree, and table it for now. We’re both tired and a bit of a mess and should be getting back so Jester can check us over.  I’m guessing though from what you said a moment ago that Beau and Nott had a similar response to mine?”

Caleb slumped back against the tree, looking drained. “ _Ja_ , though I think you are all crazy.”

Molly levered himself up to his feet with a groan and a snort, and held his hands out to Caleb. “Well I thought that much was fairly obvious. Doesn’t make us _wrong_ , though.”

“Hmph.” Caleb didn’t deign to respond beyond that, reaching up to take Molly’s hands. Molly tugged Caleb to his feet, steadied him when he started to sway, and tugged the other man’s coat collar higher, pulling the lapels tighter closed around him. “You okay to head back, or do you need a minute?”

Caleb shook his head and took a determined step onward; it was even mostly steady. “ _Nein_ , I’m good. Let’s go.”

Molly watched Caleb walk for a moment before straightening his own coat, and following after.

**Author's Note:**

> While writing Miss the Sky, I had determined that by that point Molly knew at least the basics of Caleb's backstory, but wasn't sure when or how he'd found out. This is the story of how he found out. 
> 
> Note on spellcasting: Caleb uses Knock to get Molly's ropes off. I know the spell a) usually has a loud knocking sound associated with it, and b) it's usually used for mechanical locks rather than something like rope.
> 
> To this I say: In-game, the sound hasn't come up the few times Caleb has used the spell canonically, so that's what I'm going with, and secondly, I like to think of magic as having a lot to do with intent. If Caleb's intent is to 'open' the ropes, then I think the magic would act accordingly. Plus, this is my story, and it can work any damned way I please.
> 
> Want to flail at me, ask me something, or just say hello? Come find me on tumblr at [Analisegrey](http://analisegrey.tumblr.com/), or on twitter under the same handle.


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